Hello, Reader Friends,
It's not like I have a lack of things to tell you about that stem from a hungry, confused mind. I just forget to tell you about them or simply run out of time. As soon as I get to sitting down and typing them out in fractured sentences, my boss interrupts me and asks for stuff to get done so I can stay active on payroll. You know, "stuff" like DHHR compliance (who cares), or an employee making highly inappropriate comments to another employee (tattle-tale sissies) or, the highlight of my day today...
BB: "I received your resume and was able to review it. If it's convenient, I would like to ask you a few questions. Now, what prompted you to apply to here"?
Applicant: "Can you explayn thayt?"
BB: "Sure. What was it about this job that struck a chord in you? What made you decide this would be a good fit?"
Applicant: "Ye meyn personally? It was in the payper ye know..."
BB: "Yes. You personally. What do you think makes this job appealin... a happy place to work?"
BB: "Welp, I think my building is on fire. I need to go. But, we'll keep your resume on file for reasons unforeseen or desperation so unimaginable. Thank you for your time."
Okay, so there were a few embellishments, but only a few. Our building was NOT on fire today. Occasionally when I have an preliminary phone interview with a candidate whose skill set would be better suited for cave-dwelling, I'll do the universal finger across the jugular move or blunt knife to the wrist in a rapid fire motion or gun to the temple, etc, etc, etc. These are all S.O.S signals to my co-worker sitting directly across the hall from my desk. She always laughs at this because she is my friend and has a highly evolved sense of humor.