Sunday, November 22, 2009

The case for Sarah

I remember exactly where I first heard about Sarah Palin sashaying onto the national scene. My family and I were visiting my little brother out in Colorado when it was announced that John "I walk with a (Mc)Cain" had chosen his running mate after months of speculation. Had the Republicans finally found their golden ticket into the White House?

Watching her infamous "hockey mom with pit-bull lipstick" speech at the Republican National Convention was riveting to say the least. She was so confident and polished, it made me weep. In a dream sequence I had later, I envisioned myself in a similar situation only I'm tripping as I'm walking across the stage, lunging towards the podium, mumbling something into the microphone about campaigning for more malls in West Virginia before passing out in front of the rolling teleprompter. All that to say, she was inordinately eloquent and poised that night no matter what you thought of her politics.

Once she dipped her toe into the shark infested waters policed by the mainstream press and Keith Olbermann (MSNBC hardly qualifies as "press" of any kind), the slashing and burning of her personal character, family, religious beliefs, and accent began. Attacking her pregnant teenage daughter and the maternity of her mentally retarded son, the media also went after her admirable record as governor and portrayed her solely as a Bush-Lite beauty queen. Her admittedly poor interview performances with Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric were played endlessly on cable news as comedic fodder and had even Karl Rove scratching his big shiny bald head...what exactly was the "Bush Doctrine" again?

Feminists rejected her outright because, although a woman, she was not one of them and thus she was outside of their protectionist circle of feminist outrage. To a majority of conservatives, she was a breath of fresh air, to most liberals she was a know-nothing knuckle-dragging pin up. Although much information out on Sarah Palin is schizophrenic in nature: she's bright and dumb as a rock, she's a trail blazer and overly scripted, she's determined and she's a quitter, it seems as if the only person who is sure of Sarah Palins' message is Sarah Palin.

While I would like to report that the press operates as an unbiased platform, to say so would make my previous points moot. She has precious little control over the things they chose to dwell on, but she can still sculpt her own image outside the confines of a system that undermines her every move. It is possible and it is necessary.

If a book tour and a sit down chat with Oprah Winfrey is all that Sarah has in the cards, then I say run that ship into the ground. However, if higher political aspirations are in the works, such displays of celebrity will not initiate a resurgence in base loyalty or lead to a re-evaluation of credentials. Let me propose that instead of shirking responsibilities as governor by dropping out prematurely and instead of talks pertaining to a wardrobe budget, let's discuss relevant solutions regarding the economy, health care, human rights, Afghanistan, etc. As a voter, I'm greedy; I like style but but I demand substance. I want a real contender. Where's the (moose) meat, Sarah?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Bad me

I am woefully sorry about not keeping up appearances here. It's a lot of pressure, you know? It's not like I don't have things I would like to talk to you about but most of them seem far too mundane to let wander out of my brain. I would not want to saddle you down with a bunch of snoozer posts in which I totally will if you'll just give me more time.

So, let me share some pictures with you from my private collection as I am biding time with my other works in progress...

Probably taken at a state fair, this here woman was just plain crafty. Quit yer snikern.

I painted this for my good friend, Kate. It's a portrait of her. As a man. Or Maria Shriver. This was an honest work on my part so please stop being smug and thinking that you could have done better because, really, you are hurting my feelings. Picasso wasn't famous until after he was dead so I'm thinking I only have about 45 years to do more of these here strokes of glory before I can get my proper accolades.

This sweet picture was of my old Lab, Ramsey. I believe this needs no further caption.

I'll admit I have weird attachments to my vehicles. But for all you doubters out there, as you can see, it's mutual. I went to take a few pictures of Night Rider before he was sold to a nice old lady who I'm convinced only drove him to and from a Baptist church on Sunday's and well, you can see how upset he was.

I'm just saying...It's a nice picture, right? I'm just saying. Don't judge me.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Chocolate sticks

Bentley Eugene Eustice Fullman Brdlik or "chocolate sticks", my 17 year old slow moving Siamese cat, is constantly getting trampled under my feet. When I do accidentally set him on a new trajectory across the room, I feel bad even though me biffing and grinding my face on the floor does not seem like a decent prospect either. Just so he knows we are still on good terms when I whack him on his furry geriatric face, I immediately summon him over to his food dish, apologize to him profusely and pet him while he eats. This is his favorite thing in the world--- to be petted while eating his "Special Kitty" blend. You would think there is a jet engine rattling in his rib cage.

Here is the rub, I'm afraid that Bentley is going to develop a battered cat syndrome were he associates being kicked in his face with pleasure and eating. Maybe that's why his clumsy ways have picked up over the last few months. He's no dummy.

Apparently, this picture has him huffing spray paint. He is seeking treatment.

He looks thrilled that we dressed him up with jewelry. Please note the tube top and bracelet.

He forgot his swim trunks.

This will be my only cat posting. Scouts honor.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Butcher, baker, paint-chip card maker?

For years, I have struggled with the idea of what I want to do when I grow up. Vocational directives have always eluded me, as well as any concrete long term goals. Looking around at what appears to be millions of options, I think to myself, "I could do that... but should I? Could I? Is it fulfilling and would it utilize my gifts, well, gift"? (it's apparently card-making if you must know.)

I came across a New York Times article interviewing the Vice President of Elle magazine. An excerpt of what she said struck a chord in me...

Q. Looking back, do you feel there was a moment or experience that set your career on a different trajectory?

A. I started working at 16. I worked all through college. Work brought me success and money and freedom, and then more success and more money and more freedom. I failed a few times. I failed to get into the college of my choice. I failed to get into law school. And they were big failures for me, but I found the more I worked, the better I did, without ever having a goal. I didn’t have a goal. I wanted to be a lawyer and I didn’t get to be a lawyer, but all of a sudden I woke up one day and I was in publishing, and I knew what I was doing. As I look back, I think that sometimes you can’t have the five-year plan for yourself. If you’re doing something well, you tend to keep doing it. That's how you fall into careers.

Eureka! Could it be that easy? That is exactly how I feel, or how I think I'll feel. Sweet heavens ta-Betsy. I just thought I was being intellectually lazy and under motivated to assume otherwise.

Truthfully, I'm not even certain where all of my gifts and abilities lie. Some people tell me I'm good at eating and buying stuff on eBay, while others maintain that I'm at my very best when I'm sitting in a chair and breathing in and out. So, I continue to go around dipping my little fingers into any numbers of vocational pies and seeing which one suits my fancy, making sure to spend extra time with the pies that have chocolate in them. What's that? That did not correlate you say? Well, let me introduce you to my little friend, Attention Deficit Disorder. He'll be making his presence known on this blog at every missed punctuation mark or disjointed sentence. Do make him feel welcome today, would you?

But in other news, if I ever do make my own card line, I've got the name down. Friends, I introduce you to "Kissth Productions"...