Thursday, March 10, 2011

Sunday Skool!

Would you believe that Yours Truly has been put in charge of instilling biblical truth to young, impressionable minds?   Me neither.

It's dangerous.  And it's a bad idea.

In my minds eye, I see God casually flipping through his iPhone 7 (he's light years ahead of Jobs) and zeroing in on Greenbrier County by utilizing his Google Earth Ap, he sprays his celestial coffee across the room...
"Wohhhh.  Can't have this happen on my watch...  Michael!  Silver PT Cruiser... Rt 12... spook some deers.  Post haste!"
Now that I have everyone's attention and abject horror at the thought of relegating God to a mindless lifeguard of little souls, let me continue on...

We discussed how all are descendants of Adam and Eve (and Noah if you believe in the biblical account of the flood) with our own unique DNA, intelligently encoded by a loving God.  Sounds simple, right?

I explained to the kiddies that DNA provides human kind with some uniformity in that most are born with a head, two arms, two legs, two eyes, etc.  However, DNA also provides information that makes us unique and different from everyone else.  People are born with different eye, hair and skin color, some are tall, some are short, some are smart and some are superbly dumb.

I hoped to loosely cement (an oxy-moron, yet accurate) this principle in a little game of "Telephone".  This childhood game works by whispering a sentence to your neighbor and they whisper what they heard you say to their neighbor and so it goes down the line until it gets back to the originator, typically a mere shadow of what was actually said.  My ingenious plan was to point out the similarities between the original and ending sentences but also acknowledging the words that were tweaked along the way, [in]effectively showcasing how DNA gets passed down from generation to generation to yield similar and differing traits.  What I could not prepare for was the utter annihilation of "See the red fox jump over the lazy blue dog" into "Susie sniffs dog butts."

Weeping, I told the kids, "Never mind.  God loves you."

Truth is, I kind of dig thinking up crafts and silly games.   It's where my mind is.

Exhibit 1

At this time, I would like to draw your attention to the stick figure at the bottom.   If you are unable to see it clearly, let me do your eyes a favor...

Exhibit 2

Disturbing, no?  I was sitting on my couch Saturday night, laughing uproariously at my artistic prowess in creating this stick-kid with oven mitts for hands.  The phrase "stick-kid" still makes me laugh.  At any rate, the children were instructed to color in their hair and eye color, as well as draw on some clothing.  This was Children's Church, for Saint Pete's sake. But mostly I just got confused looks.  "Why do I appear to be on stimulants, Miss Bonsey?"

"I dunno, Johnny.  I dunno.  God loves you, okay?  Here's some animal crackers."

1 comment:

  1. I love it. I was actually "LOL-ing" (of course, spelled out that would be "laughing out louding" which, doesn't make any sense)

    Someday Johnny will look back at this lesson and wonder if gargoyle-babies were descendants of Noah.

    You crack me up Brdlick - just like cocaine. Except a little different.