Friday, May 7, 2010

Spring Cleaning of a Different Color

Folks, there comes a time in one's life were inventory must be done.  A gut check if you will.  I am planning on doing a colon cleanse this Monday through Wednesday and I will need you to keep me accountable.  Do this by asking me questions like, "Amanda, is that your second or third KitKat this afternoon?" or "Is that you smoking again in the bathroom?"

My Colon Elimination Detox Plan
[that I got from a book]

The night before your colon cleanse...

-Take your choice of gentle herbal laxatives.

-Soak dried figs, prunes and raisins in water to cover; add 1 TB molasses, cover, leave overnight. (I, myself, don't know if I could do the molasses... Can't I just mix Aunt Jemima's syrup with bottled water?)

The next day...
On rising: take a cleansing booster product or 1 heaping teaspoon of fiber drink in juice or water. Take 1000 mg vitamin C with bioflavanoids to raise body glutathione levels.

Breakfast: discard dried fruits from soaking water and take a small glass of the liquid.

Mid-mornings: take 2 TBS aloe juice concentrate in a glass of juice or water and 1000 mg vitamin C.

Lunch: take a small glass of fresh carrot juice

Mid-afternoon: take a large glass of fresh apple juice; or an herbal colon cleansing tea.

About 5 o'clock: take a small glass of fresh carrot juice or vegetable drink

Supper: take a glass of apple or papaya juice and 1000 mg of vit C

Before bed: repeat the herbal cleansers that you took on rising, and take a cup of mint tea.

Colon cleanse bodywork suggestions:

Irrigate: a colonic irrigation is a good way to start a colon/bowel cleanse. Grape-seed extract is effective (15-20 drops in a gallon of water) and is especially good if there is colon toxicity along with the constipation.

Exercise: take a brisk walk for an hour every day to help keep your elimination channels moving.

Bathe: take several long warm baths during your cleanse. A lower back and pelvis massage and dry skin brushing will help release toxins coming out through your skin.

If you like, do it with me. Come on! It'll be a gas!

And because I like you and want you to come back, I did not post this here tomfoolery but as a warning, it's nast.


  1. I am not sure what to say except.....I think I have plans for that time period. But my best wishes to you and your cleansing.

  2. Just remember the old admonition . . . "Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time."

  3. Thanks for the advice. I'm taking it all to heart. I've just ingested my "gentle herbal laxative" tea. Yea.


  4. Good luck with that, Amanda. I've got no desire to join you. Things are flowing just fine, here. Thanks.

  5. whhhhy did I open that link???? Hope the clease goes well love.