*Wet eyelids full of bitter, salty tears*
I had these visions of grandeur that, well, people would really like my idea of a Dear Bonsey column, but alas with the one dear exception of "Heather" and her quandary involving old people on the road, due to a lack of response I shall take my life at 2 pm today. It has been written in the stars. No need to talk me out of it.
But in case I don't go through with it, I would like some new and perplexing inquiries for possible publication next Friday.
What do I have to do to get some feedback, people? Remove an article of clothing, dedicate a statue in your honor in my weed garden, buy you Walmart stock? Because, unlike my fake suicide attempt, I will.