Thursday, March 25, 2010


*Quivering lips*

*Downcast glances*

*Wet eyelids full of bitter, salty tears*

I had these visions of grandeur that, well, people would really like my idea of a Dear Bonsey column, but alas with the one dear exception of "Heather" and her quandary involving old people on the road, due to a lack of response I shall take my life at 2 pm today. It has been written in the stars. No need to talk me out of it.

But in case I don't go through with it, I would like some new and perplexing inquiries for possible publication next Friday.

What do I have to do to get some feedback, people? Remove an article of clothing, dedicate a statue in your honor in my weed garden, buy you Walmart stock? Because, unlike my fake suicide attempt, I will.


  1. Ummm. Give me a day to create a hum-dinger for you. I'll think of something. Don't you worry, Amanda.

  2. Hmmmmmm. I would take the statue in the weed garden. I would ADORE, simply ADORE a Dear Bonsey column. Or you could call it "Dear Bonsai" and talk about trees. Maybe not.

  3. Your column stinks you never replied to my heart felt question......I'll send you tissues for your tears....

  4. Dear Bonesy,
    I work at the Radio Shack in Beckley, you know, by the one by the movie theater. Everytime I step into my establishment of employment I have accompanied by long stares into the abyss. I often wonder how I got here. Please dear this sense of impending doom that seems to be Bonesy, help me to turn my life around, rid myself of the razor blades and emo music and make better career choices.

  5. HUH! Cant wait to hear you respond to that Dr. Bonsey....